in transit

"Do clouds, for instance, discharge their burdens in relief,
or do they, in their secret hearts, dream of the fallen?
And which is the life we regret, what was left behind
or the one to which we hurl at 800 km/h?"

--- In Transit; Alvin Pang

"Jazzy, will you be at home tomorrow?"
(was trying to organize thoughts on a word document, plus I cannot multi task so I replied her 2 minutes later)
"Erm yes....... I think. I have to pack for camp. Why?"

"Yay! Nothing, I just like you to be at home"

this broke my heart today :( biggest regret is not being able to be the jie jie that my younger sister needs. just spent a bit of time with her though, she asked me what I was like when I was nine so instead of reading Emma I dug out my old diaries and we laughed at my horrible drawings and she did identify with what I was like :) she started her own diary today, and first on my resolution list for next year, above everything else, is to be a better older sister, which is a responsibility I shrug off a lot of the time.

tomorrow's CEC day 3, and I see all the photos that jonathan is posting on fb (his photog skills are not bad now hahahahaha with photoscape), what's most nostalgic are those of kids who were in my class one/two years ago - and they surprise me by look one/two years older which is duh but i obviously cannot keep up with time. feeling a tad bit sad that I can't be there this year, and that I have not been there for the past year, because even with my current environment, trbc does feel like somewhere I've lived for ten years before moving away. which is an over exaggeration of course, but really miss the sunday school gang :') 

today: was feeling like a typhoon in a teacup (aka kind of crappy!!!!!! which is really not good!!!!!) so i took a half an hour nap instead. woke up to a yellow kind of storm, sometimes i forget how God speaks to me through rain

hahahahaa and w zhao amuses me so so much hahahahaha. can't believe ablaze camp is 2 days away.......